


Heart to Heart

by dramady, jeck



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Adam Lambert - Fandom, American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-13
Updated: 2010-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-06 05:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramady/pseuds/dramady, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeck/pseuds/jeck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The New Year brings forth something different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart to Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to teamlambliff fic meme prompt: Adam/Tommy heart to heart talk.

  
They'd known each other two months. That's all. Of course, that was long enough for marriages and divorces, some might say. And it was two months that had _flown_ by. None of the band had joined thinking Adam was going to gallop them right into being infamous, though.

Old news, right? Or something. But New Year's Eve was finally done and there were a few days in there with no gigs. So, why was Adam so reluctant to say goodbye? Angsting over the straight guys was never a good idea. (You'd think he'd have learned his lesson nearly a year ago, right?) Plus, there seemed to be times where Tommy ...

Adam didn't even know. Where Tommy seemed to want him too. Where he'd find reasons to stand close, to lean in, to throw his arm around Adam's waist.

It didn't help that Tommy was just the right size to tuck under Adam's arm. That didn't help at all.

Maybe that was part of why it hurt so bad, just the idea of saying goodbye, however temporarily.

Somehow, Monty, LP and Lisa had all left. That left Tommy and Adam.

Adam looped his scarf around his neck again, for something to do, as he gave Tommy a small smile. "Of all the dressing rooms in all the world, you end up in mine."

Tommy had one leg up on the counter where all the make up was earlier scattered around and he was tracing the colored patterns left there, some glittery stuff managing to remain on his fingertip. He peered up at Adam, his hair falling a little across one eye and then he looked back down, trying to clean that glittery stuff off only managing to smear it even more on his fingers.

"It's a good dressing room. Who wouldn't want to be a star?" Tommy shrugged his shoulder. "You get the fancy fruit basket and shit." One corner of his lip lifted up ever so slightly. He didn't want to leave, either. At least not yet. After all this, it was back to Burbank and back home and it was quiet there with nothing but him and his guitar and his complete DVD set of M*A*S*H.

"They're going to kick us out soon," Adam noted, gesturing with an elbow toward the door. "... you can take some fruit if you want." He paused for a moment, before offering. "Or ... we can go get a drink Somewhere?" After midnight on New Year's Eve. It was a bad suggestion. "Or, actually, fruit and room service booze at the hotel?"

Another shrug and then another flick of his eyes before Tommy pushed off the counter and stood up, neck craned to look at Adam. "Hotel. People are drunk on the streets and they'd recognize you and shit. You don't want that." Tommy didn't want that for Adam either and he wondered briefly when the easy friendship became _more_ that he was suddenly concerned.

Okay. Maybe he knew _when_ but Tommy tried not to think about that no matter how much he'd actually did nothing but think about that kiss since the night it happened.

Since Tommy had to take his guitar, Adam took the fruit basket (and his bag). What? It had a handle. Plus there was pineapple in there and it wasn't like he could put it in his pockets.

They were shuttled to the car and through the smoked glass, they could watch the people on the street and not talk. The air felt heavier for whatever reason. Maybe because it was so late, or they were both tired, or whatever. They were driven right to the staff entrance and into the cargo elevator up to Adam's floor. He keyed open the door and leaned against it to let Tommy in. "What do you want to drink?" He asked.

"Anything. It's New Year's. We should have been drunk hours ago." Tommy plopped himself down on the sofa and put his booted feet up on the coffee table. Adam had a fucking suite and it was nice. It was quiet, too and Tommy thought about the other guys who were probably doing New Year's Eve stuff in their bedrooms seeing as it was only Tommy who was single. Well. Tommy and Adam. He took a peek at Adam again as the man walked around the room.

New Year's. That meant champagne. Adam ordered it, and some tequila, being told it would be sent up within fifteen minutes. When he set down the phone, he smiled over at Tommy. "I bet I'm not the prettiest date you've ever had for New Year's."

Tommy slouched down on the seat. "I've had worse." He smirked at Adam and chuckled quietly, his shoulders heaving. "Half the time I was drunk anyway. Don't remember most of it." He wasn't entirely sure why he was here. He could have gone out and met some pretty young thing and fucked around. "How come you're not hanging out with Neil?"

"I can _definitely_ get a prettier date than my _brother_," Adam answered, chuckling. He walked over to the window to look out at the city. "Like you," he added, almost as an afterthought, voice going quiet. "Except you're not my date."

No. No. This wasn't a date. This was -- two single guys hanging out after work. It just so happened to be New Years. There was a brief moment of uncomfortable silence and then Tommy spoke. "So, uhm, what're you doing the next couple weeks?" You know? The time they all won't be around each other. Not that he really cared. Just curious.

"I'm actually tempted to go to Tahiti," Adam joked. The ever-present tropical holiday he dreamed about and talked about at any given opportunity. His hand was pressed to the glass, cool under his touch. "What are you doing?"

Pressing his lips together, Tommy just nodded his head slowly, his mind already filling with images. "Tahiti sounds nice." He pointed to Adam and then he reached over and let the back of his hand trail lightly over Adam's arm. "You'd burn and you'd be one freckled mess but hey," he grinned, "it's Tahiti."

"I've never been, actually. I think it would be nice to be _warm_." In the glass, Adam could see Tommy's reflection, feel his skin tingle where Tommy touched him. "You didn't say what you were going to do. Maybe you should come with me." His mouth turned up in a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Tommy's hand stayed where it was, still over Adam's arm, unmoving. It was easier to be this way when they were alone. "You better not be serious." Because Tommy would jump at that chance. It was Tahiti. He'd never been anywhere tropical. But then that would be a press field day. He'd been wary since the whole AMA thing and this one would be, well. A circus.

There was the slightest of pauses before Adam turned his head to answer in a whisper. "What if I am?"

The intensity in his eyes were there and Tommy just stared before ever so slowly shaking his head. "That'd be awesome. I'd love to go to Tahiti with you, man, but do you have any idea how in the hell you're gonna hide that? They'll be all over you." And him. Tommy gestured between them. "It's not like you and I are..." They were friends, right? That was all it was.

Turning completely around, catching Tommy's calloused fingers in his, Adam shrugged a shoulder. "It's not like we're what, Tommy? If we're just friends, we say that." Except maybe it showed on his face that he didn't want that to be the case.

It was like an electric current, low and tingling that ran up his arm from where Adam was holding his hand. Tommy had to look down and then back up to meet Adam's eyes. "Are we?" It just kind of slipped out without him meaning it to but then he did want to find out. What the hell was this anyway? This thing between them?

Searching Tommy's face, Adam spoke as if they were keeping secrets, almost under his breath. "Unless you tell me different, we're just friends." But their fingers laced together so _easily_. "I'm gay and you're straight. Right?"

Fuck labels. Tommy hated them. He looked at their joined hands and frowned. "Did I ever actually _say_ I was straight? You look at the MySpace page, you see it and you assume. Like everyone else." His lashes slowly fluttered, opening up and he searched Adam's face as if trying to find some kind of epiphany there. "It's just MySpace." Tommy was still avoiding answering the question of them being friends, obviously.

"If it's just MySpace, just people assuming, why put anything at all?" As he asked, Adam rubbed his thumb along the back of Tommy's hand. "You can't blame everyone for assuming, based on what you _post_. If you post that you're straight, the world kind of has every right to assume you really are straight, Tommy."

"Maybe I want them to assume." Because he wasn't ready to deal with it yet himself. All this shit wasn't easy. "But just because it's there doesn't mean it's what it is." People have already dug up all the gay shit he ever said. Someone, somewhere had a full image folder of screencaps of his comments, he was sure. Secret was out.

"Then don't get mad if we get it wrong." Adam told him, squeezing his hand before letting it go. There was a knock at the door. Their booze was there. He went over to the door, holding it open so the waiter could wheel in the cart. Adam signed for it and watched as the waiter left. "Do you want something?"

"Never said I was mad." Tommy followed Adam with his eyes, his hand that Adam let go of, he touched with his other. It was still warm and he put it up against his nose and somehow he could distinguish that it now smelled like Adam's cologne. "Just thought that getting to know me, after all this time," even if it was short, "you'd have known."

"I've been wrong before." Adam cracked the seal on the tequila and poured out two shots. He turned, bringing the glasses over, holding one out for Tommy. "... are you gay?"

It was still hard to let go of the resistance. He took the glass and looked at the dark liquid inside and over the rim of the glass, Tommy met Adam's eyes. Adam had always been honest to everyone. He didn't much care for trying to hide. It was part of why Tommy admired him so much. He shook his head. "No." And his heart hammered in his chest. "Not straight either." His face remained stoic as he lifted the glass and clinked it with Adam's. "Bottom's up."

Eyes not leaving Tommy's face, Adam drank the shot, hissing at the burn on the way down. He set his glass down and took Tommy's too, when he'd finished. Holding to his wrist, Adam led him to the sofa, sitting and pulling Tommy down, too. "What are you telling me?"

Tommy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand only for something to do to not fall into the look in Adam's eyes and to avoid the scrutinizing gaze. He scratched the back of his head and he was fidgety where he sat. "I'm saying I don't pick sides." He shrugged.

"I'm not going to hurt you, or judge you," Adam told him, still whispering. "Giving me a straight answer is not a crime or a sign of weakness. Tommy, please." He felt tired and scared all at once. "You're bi, I get that. But, if you go to Tahiti with me, is it as a friend? Or ... is it as something more?"

Okay. So. Adam wasn't one who was quick to forget and pretty much clued in on Tommy completely _avoiding_ that question. He shifted forward on the sofa and poured himself another shot, downing that and praying to whatever deity that the buzz came as quick as he swallowed it. Liquid courage and shit.

"If I go with you," Tommy started slowly, twisting in his seat to take a better look at Adam, his knee pressed to Adam's thigh. "How do _you_ see that?" This was not going to be a fucking one-sided confession.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Adam gets up again, walking back over to the glass. "Fine. If you don't want to tell me, I'll go first and you can laugh at me, or whatever it is you want to do rather than be honest with me." Some heart to heart this was turning out to be.

Adam spoke as he looked out over the city. "I like you. I have a crush on you. I think about kissing you again and I want that."

It was fucking New Years, all right? The mood wasn't supposed to be like this. They're supposed to get all rowdy and loud and dancing and _drunk_. That was tradition or something. Tommy sighed and stood up, following after Adam and standing right beside him looking out the window, too. Still he could tell that there was partying going on down at street level and then there they were, having some kind of big reveal. At least Adam was. And that wasn't fair.

Tommy looked up and the glass window held both their reflections. He met Adam's eyes before reaching for his arm and turning him so that they stood face to face. "I'm not laughing," Tommy says, both his hands grabbing at Adam's shirt and tugging him down. "I'm not laughing," he whispered again and standing on his tiptoes he met Adam's lips, kissing him, slow and tentative, almost shy. Something completely different for the one and only kiss that Adam gave him.

Maybe that would be answer enough.

For a moment, Adam didn't move. Then his arms came around Tommy's waist and he pulled him closer, up against him. He turned his head to deepen the kiss. Then he could pull away, but only far enough to breathe, to look at Tommy close up, to take in what that meant. "Yeah?"

"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." But Tommy was nodding his head. Yeah. That was a yeah. He looked at Adam's face, deep in his eyes and he wanted this. He did.

"Believe it or not, I don't always know what I'm doing either." Adam's smile, and his touch to Tommy's cheek, was gentle. "So ... I guess we go to Tahiti and ... let them assume whatever the hell they want."

Frankly, all this scared the shit out of Tommy. He let out a shaky breath but leans into Adam's hand on his cheek, his eyes closing slowly, briefly. "Guess we're going to Tahiti." He smiled, finally, at Adam.

When Adam pulled Tommy close again, he smiled into his mouth before kissing him again, slow and easy. Seemed they did have something to celebrate after all.  



End file.
